Hi Baby Girl,
I've had a very busy week this week at work, I haven't really stopped at all but I suppose in a lot of ways that has been good for me. Nothing ever stops me thinking about you but if I'm kept busy then I cope better.
Wednesday was a bad day. I don't really know why but I woke up in a terrible state of mind and missed you like crazy. I got very upset at work because they were talking about the Christmas party and Lisa who is one of the Managers asked me which date would suit me best. I said either of the dates they were looking at but that I wasn't sure yet whether I was going to go, when she asked why I said I didn't know if I would be in the mood for celebrating Christmas. She was the lady who interviewed me and she knew about you from my interview, so she then reached out and held my hand and I burst into tears then, so she came around my desk and gave me a huge hug and said I would be alright, I'm not on my own and she would look after me. I thought that was very kind of her.
I was in tears shortly after that too, because of my frame of mind that day I couldn't handle much stress. I knew that would happen from time to time if I went out to work though, it's bound to I guess.
Apparently that Manager really likes me, she made a point as I was about to go home that day of telling me that when she was checking on how I was feeling.
It's been a very stressful week as well as busy, there are people I love going through very difficult times and that has been hard to cope with. I do hope all that is over very soon.
I'm going to stay with Nanna Wendy this weekend and see everyone up there which will be nice. I'm looking forward to seeing certain people and giving them HUGE hugs!!
It was Nanna Wendy's birthday on Monday so I am taking her present with me, I sent her card for her birthday but I didn't want to post her present. She wanted something very specific and I've managed to get something that is everything she wanted and more so I hope she will be delighted with it.
Please will you do something for me sweetheart? Early next week I and other people who love you are going to need you by them, will you be there please? I know you will know what I'm talking about and I know you'll be by their side and looking after them as much as you can. Thank you sweetheart.
I know everything happens for a reason, I wondered this morning whether the reason you were taken away from me is that God knows just how much I need to be a Mother, and how good a Mother I will be, and so he took you away to ensure that I will get to do it all over again by the time I reach Heaven, as you'll be there waiting for me.
I like that thought. I hope it's true.
I love you so so much Baby Girl, I always will xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx