The end of another busy week today Baby Girl, I've been working very hard on Giggle Bump Baby. I even went back to networking on Tuesday morning and saw all the ladies I knew but haven't seen since we lost you, that was a huge step. A room full of women wanting to tell me they're sorry.
I had a good session with my Psychologist this morning who is teaching me breathing and focus exercises which will hopefully help me through another pregnancy and in particular the labour and birth, whenever it is our turn again.
Your rose in the rose garden we planted for you is so perfect. It starts off as ruby coloured buds, and turns into beautiful yellow roses, which then tinge ruby again after a few days! I don't think we could have chosen a more fitting rose if we tried.
We buried your baby Brother or Sister in your rose garden and your white rose we planted over the top is tinging pink too, so maybe it was a girl, although I did the necklace and ring thing (with your ashes pendant) and that said it was a boy.
We named it Charlie Robin. We told Faye she could choose it's name and she liked Charlie or Alex, and your Daddy chose Charlie from those two. I added Robin as a second name as I liked that. Every time I see a Robin I will think of Charlie Robin now, just like every time I see a butterfly I think of summer and so think of you, although I still think of you all the time anyway.
I think you would be proud of how well your Daddy and I are doing lately sweetheart, despite losing your baby Brother or Sister we are still doing well and going strong, and we are so great together these days, I know you can see that and would love it. Daddy gives me lots of loving all the time.
He bought a paddling pool today for Faye to play in this weekend in the sunshine, and he was upset that you are not here to play in it too. Things like that really make us miss you so much. I hope that you will be watching and that it's enough for you to do so, you probably have things much better than paddling pools in Heaven.
I will be thinking of you as always while I play in it with Faye.
I really miss you and wish you could be here with us.
I love you so so much Baby Girl, you may not be around but you are still my world and I would still die for you in a heartbeat, if it meant that I could bring you back for your Daddy, and let you experience the life that was so cruelly taken from you.
You are always in my heart my precious Baby Girl xxxxx